When life throws you a curve ball, for a loop or upside down, how do you handle it? Do you see the glass half full or half empty? Do you whine or throw yourself a pitty party? Are you an optimist or pessimist?
I was raised, God will never give you more than you can handle. You may be tested and I have had more than my share of tests over the years, but I have always come out a better person because of the way I handled the situation.
Yesterday I was tested and rather than feel sorry for myself, whine or have myself a pitty party I decided I would stay positive and look at the bright side of the situation. Although I have reduced stress, learned to eat more iron enriched foods and change my lifestyle almost completely the severe peptic ulcer disease and iron deficiency anemia are in a battle against each other. Due to the iron being extremely low and to the point of causing other health problems, we have tried to get my iron levels up without causing the ulcers to flair. This has been impossible and after several more attempts of iron supplements, we have come to the last resort...IV Iron therapy. I fought it for weeks. The Hematologist I have been seeing only uses this as a last resort and yesterday, he said we had to try this route as the iron deficiency has started to cause other health problems. So in order to bypass the stomach with oral meds, I agreed to start the IV therapy.
Sitting in an Oncology/Hematology office with nothing but books, magazines and pamplets on living with cancer starring you in the face....you start looking at things differently. Over the past month as I would go for my appointments and sit there with cancer patients....I was always the only one there it seemed at the time....made me wonder if that was planned some how....with "just" a severe iron deficiency anemia problem. Sitting there with those patients, laughing and talking about their day to day situations they faced with the cancer made me realize how much worse I could be. Ulcers and Iron Deficiencies are something you can live with! But you are tested and trust me the tests will determine if you are an optimist or pessimist.
As Steve and I sat there listening to Dr. K about the risk of the anemia and the treatment using IV therapy....I thought here we go....God is testing me again. One in 14 to 18 patients have a reaction to iron by IV, therefore they are given in the hospital in the Oncology department. Reactions consist of rash, shortness of breath and or anaphylactic shock. I would like to have heard better odds, but I kept thinking, okay God, this is your chance to only give me what I can handle once again.
Wednesday I start the first of 8 weeks of treatment. He said to prepare myself as the first 3 to 4 weeks will be stressful, your back hurts, your muscles ache and you may even want to give up, but once I get over that hurdle I will start feeling so much better that it will be worth it all. I am to pre-med myself with two Extra Strength Tylenol and two Benadryl each time to help counter act a reaction and then afterwards rest for the afternoon and let the iron work!
So what did this optimist, half full glass girl do yesterday after my doctors appointment? Enjoyed lunch with Steve, sent him on his way to South Carolina for a meeting today, did a few errands, talked to a friend on the phone and then headed to the beach....with nothing but water all around me, the Uggs were left on the boardwalk and I put my feet into the sand and eventually ventured out into the edges of the still cool water. There was not another person in site....just me...the sounds of the waves...the smell and taste of the salt water and the wind blowing all my concern away.
Until next time....another test, another hurdle, a half full glass and a very optimistic girl....and this too shall pass!